It feels as if it has been way too long since I posted on here, but I wasn't sure if anyone reads this anyways.
I am in my 5th term of school and I feel like it is going by so fast. I can't begin to accept what has happened in my life over the past 2 years. I still feel like I am in a fog of denial. As if my life is completely on hold til my family comes back to me. As if I fell asleep 2 years ago and I just haven't woken up yet.
I miss my daughters dearly and I am not really sure how to deal with that yet. I feel as if I haven't accepted that they are gone. Yet at the same time with all the pain and agony I have felt since their passing what will it feel like to actually accept that they are gone? This is the notion that keeps me locked in this box with my pain.
If I don't leave my box will I eventually just have a nervous breakdown? Will enough time have passed by then that it will actually be easier? Is being in this fog about my daughters and husband causing me to miss out on chances and opportunities that could have brightened my future? How do I get out of the fog?
